Saturday, January 4, 2014

Equal Rights for Side-Boob


Yes, you read that right.  This is a diary of my adventures in online dating.  I’m a kick-ass, newly divorced, single mom, and it’s time to get out there and meet some quality men.  Or, not meet quality men and hopefully have some hilarious stories to tell.  I plan to keep my matches and dates anonymous, mostly because I will probably be making fun of them.  And, I will try my best to quell my cynical tongue as I weed through dates that were entertaining and dates that never should have happened (a.k a. dates where I was probably too tipsy and dates where I should have stayed home watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy).  So here we go…

THE PROFILE
                Writing up an explanation of myself wasn’t that hard for me to do.  I know myself very well, I’m opinionated, and I know how to say what I want (today we will ignore the fact that what I want changes… fairly often… like the wind).  I was more uncomfortable posting pictures of myself.  You never know what kind of whacko stalkers are going to appear if you upload nice pictures.  So for my own entertainment, and yours, and in the interest of possibly good stalker stories, I posted some bikini pics along with my regular pics.  Unfortunately, one of the bikini pics was not approved.  I guess too much side-boob is not acceptable on the dating site.  LAME!!!  I disagree with their discrimination of side-boob from cleavage.  All orientations of cleavage deserve equal rights.  What is the purpose of freedom if we are not fighting for equality?  Equal rights for side-boob.

                So, I finished my profile and made it public before going to work this morning.  I didn’t know what to expect.  Even sans side-boob, I think I did ok.  I have a good amount of emails, winks and favorites to go through.  I feel like I have to read every single profile in detail before responding, but I really just want to take 10 seconds to breeze through their pics and make a snap judgment that is nowhere near accurate.  I’m just so torn.  Ok I lied.  This is totally about snap judgments.  I’m two drinks in and I just want to watch Netflix, instead of intently searching through profiles to find my knight in shining armor.  My prediction is that most are just douchebags in tinfoil.   But hey – life’s an adventure!

2 comments:

  1. I am addicted to Vampire Diaries on Netflix. Don't judge. And I say, the cursory once over to make sure they are cute enough to even warrant a detailed reading is appropriate. Law firms judge based on GPA, lawyers (even non-practicing ones) should judge on physical appearance.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is going to get really interesting really fast..

    ReplyDelete